The one where OCD is not trivial

Last nights great british bake off annoyed a great deal of people judging by my twitter timeline, It annoyed me too but not because of the ice cream drama.
What really annoyed me was when one of the contestants, while faffing about making his pudding said his OCD was conveniently kicking in. Now I have absolutely no clue whether he has OCD or not but I’m going to go out on a limb and say that faffing over your pudding because you want Mary Berry to like it is not really what OCD is.

This is taken from the NHS website….
Obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) is a mental health condition where a person has obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviour.
An obsession is an unwanted, unpleasant thought, image or urge that repeatedly enters a person’s mind, causing them anxiety.
The word “obsession” usually describes something enjoyable, but in OCD the obsession is unpleasant and frightening.
A compulsion is a repetitive behaviour or mental act that someone feels they need to carry out to try to prevent an obsession coming true. For example, someone who is obsessively scared they will catch a disease may feel the need to have a shower every time they use a toilet.

I find it tiresome as well as ignorant when OCD as well as many other mental health conditions is trivialised.

Every time someone says “I’m a bit OCD” When actually they just enjoy housework it makes me want to punch them scream, in much the same way that I want to slap people scream terrible things at people when they claim to be “a bit depressed” because their team didn’t win the match or because they are a bit skint and cant go down the pub.

It all just highlights how little people know/care about mental health conditions.

Its time that people stopped trivialising mental health conditions

Autism is actually f&£king exhausting

We’re all tired, I get it, kids are hard work, life is hard work…..true fact !
But if there was ever a thing that was truly overlooked its how hard it really is to be the parent of an autistic child. interchange Autistic with any disability.
sleep? well, my elder son with autism is 18 and my younger one is 9 ….they aren’t good sleepers, by that I don’t mean they go to bed a bit late, I mean without melatonin tablets Ollie will be awake till long after midnight with his billion questions, every night, when he was younger rather than ask questions all night he would rage and scream for hours at bedtime, the elder one is largely nocturnal, so he is up all night, wandering around, having his tv too loud, cooking,popping into my room at random points in the night to chat…oh and did I mention that Ollie is nine, he’s only been in his own bed for 3 months, next to my bed, as i write this he’s in my bed again. sleep…..what even is that?

People moan about their kids getting under their feet, what ? I would give anything to have my boys spend more time with me , Ollie needs a lot of alone time every day, and the elder one….well he’s usually asleep all day, somedays I could go all day without seeing them, if it wasn’t for food and drink i’d not see Ollie on some days.

fussy kids…pah! Ive got fussy kids I’ve also got Ollie who goes through long phases of not eating incase there is a hair on his food or its been contaminated, even periods where he will only drink build up …the elder one has only around 3-4 meals he will eat, if we don’t have them he can go one of two ways, bullistic or throw an almighty sulk

I’d give anything for my boys to want to go out , playgrounds are too noisy and too much potential for confrontation, town is a no no , too many people, even a walk on the common is unlikely because of flying bugs . If by some miracle we do get out its usually so stressful I wish We hadn’t.

hygiene ? put it this way , showering, hair washing, tooth brushing, ongoing battles I barely win.

The tv causes problems as one can only watch tv with subtitles as he cant concentrate without them, one hates subtitles because

they arent even spelt right most of the time.

Any kind of doctors appointment takes weeks to plan and usually ends in me going alone, in fact any plans to go anywhere take weeks to,plan and usually end in me going alone.

Family games are a no-no we played frustration this week , I was foolish really to think an autistic could play frustration.

In our house there is a lot of throwing things, banging things, shouting ( from them not me) a simultaneous tantrum with an 18 and 9 year old is not fun.

This is just the small stuff, I’ve spent over ten years now fighting CAMHS for help, I even made an official complaint on the grounds that

every professional involved in my sons case failed him at every step of the way

, I received an apology and an admission from our consultant psychiatrist that they just have no money and no staff .
this makes me livid but its a whole other blog post
After the complaint elder son was diagnosed ten years after I begun fighting for it. too late , he’s had no education, he is housebound he still recieves no help , i fight for that boy every single heart breaking day , then Ollie, well he was diagnosed reasonably fast ( after my complaint) but him and I went to the depths of hell with his old school while i begged for help.
I was the the one soothing and calming my stressed broken ( by the school) little boy, i had to fight to find him a real asd placement and I will continue fighting to ensure his education is right for him, while fighting for the non existent help for my 18 year old.

For a year when
Ollie was two we had to travel to school by bus, every day ,the whole family, Ollie would throw himself on the floor of the bus, screaming , screeching, lashing out , not letting me hold him , all the way there …and back…I got the stares back then and I still get them now when Ollie or J become stressed , I’m fighting ignorance every day I’m fighting for acceptance and for support and its exhausting .
Its all exhausting and relentless…..

As well as being exhausting its incredibly isolating, I don’t see mums at the school gate anymore, I don’t get invited anywhere because Ollie doesn’t go anywhere, nobody phones, texts or messages to ask how Im doing , probably through fear that I might actually tell them, friends just become people you used to know .

I don’t actually know how to wrap this post up …..so I’m just going to say

don’t tell me you’re tired because I might just poke you in the eye and then make you read this blog post over and over till you get it

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Hot wheels are for boys, and Hello Kitty is for girls ! At least thats what McDonalds think.
We went in there today, after the cinema, and whilst Ollie had a big mac meal the girls had happy meals. They are a little big for happy meals but they have bird like appetites, anyway, I digress….the helpful McDonalds employee who served us, very helpfully asked whether the happy meals were for girls or boys thus making sure I chose the correct gender appropriate toy for my child .
We cant have girls thinking they can play with cars, or heaven forbid boys playing with pink kitty cats can we!

how about just asking which toy your child would prefer and letting kids be kids! Too radical?

Over on facebook today I see people are taking the “what mental disorder do you have ?” Quiz.
Because mental disorders are such a funny subject aren’t they ? no ! just no.

Comments such as

lol lol I’ve got ocd lol

make my blood boil !

I’ve started deleting people that take such quizzes, remember the “find your tourettes name” quiz? Hysterical, no? no.

My prime five : pet hates

Over at Tantrums and glitter there is a new linky starting , My prime 5 , this week ( its running fortnightly I believe) the subject is pet hates.

Tantrums and Glitter

I wasn’t sure I’d be able think of 5 but actually once i got going…it turns out I’m a bit of a grump.

Bad pedestrians: I’m a pedestrian, but I am of course what I consider to be a good pedestrian. I reckon if you had to have a licence to walk most people wouldn’t be able to get anywhere, pavement hoggers and dawdlers are my biggest issue, the hoggers take up the whole pavement, they walk with a sway so you never know which way to try and dodge past, you make some noises behind them, a couple of ” sorry, excuse me’s” and they still don’t move, you decide the only way out if this is to cross the road….then they cross too 😡, the dawdlers walk at a snails pace even on a busy high street, often stopping for NO reason, so you find yourself colliding with them.
Hoggers and dawdlers can be found on every pavement as well as in every supermarket, I have two things to say to these people, spatial awareness ,and

walk with purpose, people, walk with purpose!

Drivers who don’t indicate : Now, I can’t drive but I’m
Pretty sure they teach you what indicators are for when you are learning , when you are coming to a corner indicate thats it, thats all you have to do, then my children and I will know whether or not to cross safely, its so simple and yet so many don’t do it.

Which brings me to my next pet hate…
Drivers who almost mow you down at a zebra crossing.
If there is a Zebra crossing I will always use it, thats what they’re for right? A safe place to cross, not so much.
We have a zebra crossing that my kids have to use every day to and from school, I’m sure its painted in invisible paint, i’d say 80% of drivers don’t stop even if you are already crossing
They just Zoom past, and those that do stop shoot death glares at you whilst you cross, excuse me for trying not to die!

Dog poo…on pavements, on grass, in bags hanging from trees, just no! if you have a dog, pick up its poo.
I have a dog, whenever I leave the house with my dog I take a poo bag. Its not difficult. When I’ve used the poo bag I carry it to a bin and dispose of it.
Bingo! Thats it, nobody has to tread in my dogs poo, no one should have to tread in any dog poo. And for the love of God if youve gone go the trouble of picking it up put it in the bin dont hang it from a tree! Why would you even do that?

Last but by no means least I give you …the self checkout, we all hate those don’t we, created to speed up the whole payment process they in fact double the length of time it takes . Approximately once every two items you have to wait for an assistant to authorize your purchase, check the bag weight , your age,your eye colour.
I cannot use a self checkout without losing my temper, i usually end up swearing at them and shouting

for the hundreth time i did place the item in the bagging area !

Sexist misognyistic clothing sold at asda

It has been brought to my attention by @ChildsEyesUK that this T-shirt is from the George at Asda range , really Asda? Im not sure what angle you were going for here, sexism, misogyny, encouraging men to drink more to make a female do what he wants, rape ?
These T-shirts are a disgrace as well as being offensive to women, giving a terrible message to men, Asda clothing is able to been seen by children.
So i could quite possibly be dilly dallying with my kids through the clothing department only to have my child ask what the T-shirt means

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This T-shirt is unacceptable, especially where it can be seen by a child’s eyes . I think somebody i don’t know who’s job it is needs to put a lot more thought into what is acceptable to sell in a family supermarket , may I be so bold as to suggest that a T-shirt condoning rape is not suitable , selling this tat will be a surefire way to lose custom!

Im offended …very offended

I’m afraid this isn’t a positive post but I felt the need to migrate it over to the new blog as it means a lot to me
Yesterday I read that Toni Braxton has said she fears that her sons autism is a payback from God because she once had an abortion.So Autism is a punishment?

I’m offended! In fact I find this offensive on many levels .

How can anybody say this publicly when its possible her son will one day read this, perhaps he already knows how she feels. That his autism is a punishment.

Is an autistic child a punishment? My two Autistic sons certainly aren’t. They are no less of a gift than my neurotypical children. All children are a gift whether they have Autism or not. I’m sure that many parents of Autistic children have felt guilt at some point, did they do something to harm their baby during pregnancy or during childhood, its only natural to have such worries but I know I’ve never looked at my children and wondered if I’ve been punished for a choice I made in the past. Should every parent of a child with special needs or an illness feel guilty, should they all feel they are being punished by God?

Should  a woman having an abortion fear that one day she may be punished with an autistic child? Should a woman who has had an abortion and gone on to have an autistic child feel guilty that its her fault? I imagine that for most women abortion carries enough guilt without this.

I am not religious and accept that people have different beliefs but to say something like this publicly is unacceptable in my opinion.

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