The one where OCD is not trivial

Last nights great british bake off annoyed a great deal of people judging by my twitter timeline, It annoyed me too but not because of the ice cream drama.
What really annoyed me was when one of the contestants, while faffing about making his pudding said his OCD was conveniently kicking in. Now I have absolutely no clue whether he has OCD or not but I’m going to go out on a limb and say that faffing over your pudding because you want Mary Berry to like it is not really what OCD is.

This is taken from the NHS website….
Obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) is a mental health condition where a person has obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviour.
An obsession is an unwanted, unpleasant thought, image or urge that repeatedly enters a person’s mind, causing them anxiety.
The word “obsession” usually describes something enjoyable, but in OCD the obsession is unpleasant and frightening.
A compulsion is a repetitive behaviour or mental act that someone feels they need to carry out to try to prevent an obsession coming true. For example, someone who is obsessively scared they will catch a disease may feel the need to have a shower every time they use a toilet.

I find it tiresome as well as ignorant when OCD as well as many other mental health conditions is trivialised.

Every time someone says “I’m a bit OCD” When actually they just enjoy housework it makes me want to punch them scream, in much the same way that I want to slap people scream terrible things at people when they claim to be “a bit depressed” because their team didn’t win the match or because they are a bit skint and cant go down the pub.

It all just highlights how little people know/care about mental health conditions.

Its time that people stopped trivialising mental health conditions

The one where CAMHS are useless…AGAIN

Around 6 months ago at our CAMHS appointment Ollies psychiatrist asked if Ollie wanted to try medication, for his anxiety and also to help with his tics, at first I wasn’t keen to medicate him and Ollie told his psychiatrist that he didnt want medication because he doesn’t need fixing.
At our next appointment 3 months ago we discussed medication again and Ollie was more keen to try because he is going to start at his new school, which will obviously be a very anxious time for him. His psychiatrist agreed because school is a major source of anxiety for Ollie.
The psychiatrist told us to take Ollie for an ECG (routine before the meds are prescribed) and then he would prescribe the meds.
We had the ECG done, I took the results to my gp and asked for them to be forwarded to CAMHS.
I then phoned CAMHS and left a message for the psychiatrist saying Ollie had done the ECG as requested and could he write a prescription ( made more urgent by the fact that he is leaving our CAMHS this week)
Today he called me and told me he was very busy handing over his cases …blah blah blah… I asked if he could write the prescription as promised and he said I would have to wait for an appointment with the new psychiatrist which could be in a few months !? (Also that our CAMHS is moving so we have an hour long journey to get there now, which is great with an anxious autistic child who struggles with travelling) I reminded him that he had said he’d write the prescription after the ECG , He replied that he’s busy and did I really think we needed to bother with medication. Well, mr Psychiatrist it was YOU who was keen for Ollie to try them it was YOU who agreed that medication would be a huge help for Ollie when starting school. As anxiety causes most of Ollies meltdowns at school and when travelling to school I think its clear that we need to bother with medication.
He suggested I increase Ollies melatonin dose , which makes no sense, that doesn’t help his anxiety or his tics it just help him to sleep.

He ended the call by saying I would hear from the new psychiatrist in due course and wishing me luck 😡

So despite the fact that Ollies statement says he needs long term ongoing support from CAMHS once again they have left him without the help he needs.
Over ten years now neither of my boys ever recieved any kind of actual help from CAMHS whatsoever, aside from 3 monthly appointments (rarely attended because going out is a huge problem for them both) where they were weighed and measured CAMHS have done nothing.

Now Ollie wont even get help to deal with the anxiety he faces over starting his new school .

There is no service in the children and adolescent mental health services

Autism is actually f&£king exhausting

We’re all tired, I get it, kids are hard work, life is hard work…..true fact !
But if there was ever a thing that was truly overlooked its how hard it really is to be the parent of an autistic child. interchange Autistic with any disability.
sleep? well, my elder son with autism is 18 and my younger one is 9 ….they aren’t good sleepers, by that I don’t mean they go to bed a bit late, I mean without melatonin tablets Ollie will be awake till long after midnight with his billion questions, every night, when he was younger rather than ask questions all night he would rage and scream for hours at bedtime, the elder one is largely nocturnal, so he is up all night, wandering around, having his tv too loud, cooking,popping into my room at random points in the night to chat…oh and did I mention that Ollie is nine, he’s only been in his own bed for 3 months, next to my bed, as i write this he’s in my bed again. sleep…..what even is that?

People moan about their kids getting under their feet, what ? I would give anything to have my boys spend more time with me , Ollie needs a lot of alone time every day, and the elder one….well he’s usually asleep all day, somedays I could go all day without seeing them, if it wasn’t for food and drink i’d not see Ollie on some days.

fussy kids…pah! Ive got fussy kids I’ve also got Ollie who goes through long phases of not eating incase there is a hair on his food or its been contaminated, even periods where he will only drink build up …the elder one has only around 3-4 meals he will eat, if we don’t have them he can go one of two ways, bullistic or throw an almighty sulk

I’d give anything for my boys to want to go out , playgrounds are too noisy and too much potential for confrontation, town is a no no , too many people, even a walk on the common is unlikely because of flying bugs . If by some miracle we do get out its usually so stressful I wish We hadn’t.

hygiene ? put it this way , showering, hair washing, tooth brushing, ongoing battles I barely win.

The tv causes problems as one can only watch tv with subtitles as he cant concentrate without them, one hates subtitles because

they arent even spelt right most of the time.

Any kind of doctors appointment takes weeks to plan and usually ends in me going alone, in fact any plans to go anywhere take weeks to,plan and usually end in me going alone.

Family games are a no-no we played frustration this week , I was foolish really to think an autistic could play frustration.

In our house there is a lot of throwing things, banging things, shouting ( from them not me) a simultaneous tantrum with an 18 and 9 year old is not fun.

This is just the small stuff, I’ve spent over ten years now fighting CAMHS for help, I even made an official complaint on the grounds that

every professional involved in my sons case failed him at every step of the way

, I received an apology and an admission from our consultant psychiatrist that they just have no money and no staff .
this makes me livid but its a whole other blog post
After the complaint elder son was diagnosed ten years after I begun fighting for it. too late , he’s had no education, he is housebound he still recieves no help , i fight for that boy every single heart breaking day , then Ollie, well he was diagnosed reasonably fast ( after my complaint) but him and I went to the depths of hell with his old school while i begged for help.
I was the the one soothing and calming my stressed broken ( by the school) little boy, i had to fight to find him a real asd placement and I will continue fighting to ensure his education is right for him, while fighting for the non existent help for my 18 year old.

For a year when
Ollie was two we had to travel to school by bus, every day ,the whole family, Ollie would throw himself on the floor of the bus, screaming , screeching, lashing out , not letting me hold him , all the way there …and back…I got the stares back then and I still get them now when Ollie or J become stressed , I’m fighting ignorance every day I’m fighting for acceptance and for support and its exhausting .
Its all exhausting and relentless…..

As well as being exhausting its incredibly isolating, I don’t see mums at the school gate anymore, I don’t get invited anywhere because Ollie doesn’t go anywhere, nobody phones, texts or messages to ask how Im doing , probably through fear that I might actually tell them, friends just become people you used to know .

I don’t actually know how to wrap this post up …..so I’m just going to say

don’t tell me you’re tired because I might just poke you in the eye and then make you read this blog post over and over till you get it

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Hot wheels are for boys, and Hello Kitty is for girls ! At least thats what McDonalds think.
We went in there today, after the cinema, and whilst Ollie had a big mac meal the girls had happy meals. They are a little big for happy meals but they have bird like appetites, anyway, I digress….the helpful McDonalds employee who served us, very helpfully asked whether the happy meals were for girls or boys thus making sure I chose the correct gender appropriate toy for my child .
We cant have girls thinking they can play with cars, or heaven forbid boys playing with pink kitty cats can we!

how about just asking which toy your child would prefer and letting kids be kids! Too radical?

Over on facebook today I see people are taking the “what mental disorder do you have ?” Quiz.
Because mental disorders are such a funny subject aren’t they ? no ! just no.

Comments such as

lol lol I’ve got ocd lol

make my blood boil !

I’ve started deleting people that take such quizzes, remember the “find your tourettes name” quiz? Hysterical, no? no.

GOT AUTISM?

I saw this poster today by PETA , I wanted to blog a picture of it but WordPress on a windows 8 phone is useless, so all I can do is describe it, Its a bowl of cheerios making a sad face, the slogan reads “has your child GOT AUTISM?” Then “learn about the link between autism and dairy products” in small letters. I have to say I’m really bloody annoyed by it.

To begin with, there is no proven link between Autism and dairy products, this is scaremongering, nothing more.

The slogan, has your child GOT AUTISM is a spoof of the American billboard got milk ads, Autism isn’t a joke!

And the thing that has actually bothered me the most is the cheerios in the bowl of milk making a sad face, So the cheerios got Autism when the milk was poured on them and now they are sad? Like autism is the saddest thing in the whole world? People with Autism are all so sad are they? No, no, no!

The scaremongering, the guilt put on parents of Autistics just needs to stop.

PETA need to stop using autism to further their campaign against the use of animal products (this said by myself, a vegetarian) with a theory , not a proven link.

 

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