Summer : prose for thought

I do and don’t love summer
The heat is not my cup of tea
I much prefer the autumn
Cardigans with fingers tucked up in the sleeves

But summer brought me babies
Two girls and a boy
So every single summer
Three birthdays for us to enjoy

I love the summer holidays
Six weeks with eachother
Going out or staying in
Time to spend with one another

I love to eat an ice cream
On a blanket in the park
Or throw bedtime out the window
And have the kids up long after dark

Sleeping far to late
Getting up whenever we want
Time for nice long breakfasts
With orange juice and fresh croissants

I love an evening walk
With the dog down the lane
Enjoying the evening sun
Never even minding if it rains

Sleeping reading ice cream
Playing in the water or the sand
Although I prefer autumn
Summer can be grand

Prose for Thought
The Reading Residence
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The theme game : growing a family

Im linking up with the Theme game again, this week the theme is Growing…

Twenty one years ago there was a girl, just 18, with a baby growing inside her…..
That august a boy was born, the baby boy grew and the girl grew up,
she grew into being a mum,
while the boy was growing the mum grew 6 more babies inside her,
her tummy kept growing,
their family kept growing.
Two more boys, three girls and one more boy.
The mum had to grow into being a single mum,
as the children grew and kept on growing.
The mum had to grow into being a special needs mum,
an autism mum,
as the children kept on growing.
And eating (everything)
And growing.
And eating (everything)
Uni happened, college happened,
A levels will soon happen,
GCSEs are happining,
autism is happening,
and the children keep on growing.
Growing into young adults.
And as that mum….that girl…that had a baby growing inside of her 21 years ago looks at her boy,
her first, her eldest,
fully grown about to have his birthday,
she smiles to herself….

i grew a human all the way to 21 and didnt break him

And she looks at her family all around her and thinks

maybe , just maybe I’m not too bad at growing humans 😊

The Reading Residence

Learning : the theme game

Im joining in with the theme game linky again this week, the theme for this week is learning.

Learning.

I’ve never been a very confident person, I’ve always been the one standing away from the crowd, the one who never knows what to say, the one who would rather stay indoors than have to talk to actual real people. Somewhere along my 39 years what confidence I had vanished.

I had to learn though, become more confident because I had to fight for my boys, the sen system the CAMHS system they are hard work and you have to be prepared to fight to get anywhere, you have to make phone calls, go to meetings, make yourself heard, every small victory along the way helps you to believe in yourself and your confidence more and more .

I was still holding myself back though, For the last 21 years I’ve only worn jeans, with a tshirt or jumper , slightly baggy to hide the muffin top. I’d wake up in the morning chuck my jeans on put my hair in a bobble and repeat every day.

A couple of weeks ago my mum took me shopping, she said she was determined to buy me a dress, in the end we bought 5. Dresses I would never have even looked at.I’m never going to be a fashionista but I’m learning to put more thought into what will look nice . The first time I wore one I got lots of lovely compliments and so I began wearing them often, I wore two of them to britmums live, at the same time I also left my hair down for the first time in forever and I felt much more confident than I would have in an old pair of jeans.

I wore a dress to a meeting last week, left my hair down and again recieved lots of compliments, and felt much more confident than I usually would, every compliment makes you believe in yourself a little more. At first I was very conscious that wearing a dress shows your shape much more than hiding behind jeans and a tshirt but I’m learning to accept that while my body, especially my tummy will never be perfect , its perfectly fine .

I’m learning to fuss more about myself, you have to shave your legs, often if you’re wearing dresses, and a little bit of gradual tanning lotion is good. You need to actually bother to condition your hair and keep it brushed and tidy if you’re keeping it down.

My comfortable but battered old trainers are no good with dresses so I’m having to get used to pumps and flip flops, ( flip flops mean you have to keep your toes pretty and your nails painted) .

Now that I’m caring more about how I look I’m being more sensible about what I eat, no more chocolate, especially not in bed, I’m not dieting but I’m putting more thought into it , and I’m feeling better for it

I’m putting my phone down earlier and getting more sleep, getting up earlier to enjoy a quiet tea before the morning madness begins.

All of this is making me feel more confident, happier with who I am, I’m learning that I have to care for myself as much as I care for everybody else, I’m learning to do things with more confidence, more belief in myself.

Its amazing what a few small changes can do, after 39 years im learning to be comfortable and confident with who I am

I was even looking at dresses in asda today
http://goo.gl/j6Fzhf

The Reading Residence

Blogology

Im joining in with the theme game again. This week the theme is blogging. I am a blogger, I blog….I’m not a big important blogger, just me blogging when I get a bit of time, i’ll be honest I usually blog in bed, in the dark on the ipad because as you may know it can take a long time for Ollie to settle to sleep. I spend an hour maximum on my blog every day, somedays just a few minutes if I’m just posting a photo, I’ve never written a draft in my life, who actually has time for that?
I like blogs, I like bloggers, and I like to read blogs, Parent blogs mostly, not parenting I don’t want tips, I want to know that other parents are also winging it.
Giveaway blogs and review blogs ( not blogs with a few reviews thrown in) are not my thing….thats just me.
The thing is sometimes I read blogs and I cant help but think ” calm the f@&k down”
Heres the thing… I don’t care or mind why you blog, you may blog because you make a living from it, you may do it because you like all the free stuff you get from reviewing , it may be your way of recording your childs life or like many you may profess to blog because you just like to write and don’t mind whether anyone reads it or not , now, I am one of these people, I do it because its something to do mostly while I wait for Ollie to sleep and because I like having my own space where I can write whatever the heck I like,but I see bloggers that actually beg for reviews, beg to become ambassadors and throw their toys out of the pram when they don’t get what they want. You’re not really blogging for fun or for yourself if you get so irate about it .
Some bloggers seem to review everything and I mean everything they use, from make up to food to cushions to toys, I see people review things that are completely irrelevant to them, sometimes I read them and think jeez put the blog down and take your kid out to the park to play with a stick in a puddle, just don’t review it.
Then there are the linkys , yes I have two linkys, both small things which have a small loyal following and I have a small list of linkys I enjoy taking part in but some bloggers….well, if theres a linky they are there, they are on it like a car bonnet, if a linky opens at midnight they are there waiting watching the time desperate to be the first person linked up, they will write anything just to be able to link up.Calm down, pick a few linkys you like, pick some that fit you, link up at some point before closing time, its not a race….*whispers* i think its a little sad to wait for midnight to desperately BE THE FIRST.
Then the stats and rankings,you know, the ones the nobody cares about, yet will announce when they’ve moved up and have a hissy fit when they have moved down.
If you’re blogging for you, for fun stats and rankings aren’t important, don’t get bogged down in stressing about them.
I was on a ranking site, I removed myself and I’m enjoying my blog more now.
Unless your blog is what makes you a living, calm down, don’t review everything don’t beg for opportunities, desperate is never a good look and don’t see it as a competition, a race. There is enough room out there for all of us.
If you cant go a few hours without checking your stats, drafting posts, writing a review, writing comments on fifty posts just so they all comment back on yours then you’re probably not having fun with your blog.
Step back …..

blogging is a thing , but its not everything .

The Reading Residence

Love, its in all the little things

love , its in all the little things.
I’m taking part in the theme game again over at http://www.thereadingresidence.com/ this week the theme is love
I always say I love you to the kids before They leave for school in the morning, before we go to bed, often for no reason, but now they are mostly teens I don’t always hear it back. It doesn’t trouble me, they are teenagers, its not cool to tell your parents you love them, sometimes its just not easy…

For me love is …
A hug offered when they come in the door , even when accompanied by ” come on then , you can have a hug”

A dime bar, bought as a surprise for me with their left over school money.

A cup of tea when I’m not feeling well.

Coming in the kitchen with me at night ( every night) because I’m convinced I will see a mouse again one day.

Going into the kitchen before me first thing in the morning ( the mouse thing again, I will never get over it)

Dancing with me in the kitchen.

Turning the radio up when a song they know I love comes on.

The salute Im given every night in return when I say “goodnight love you” because sometimes its just hard to say it back.

The list goes on and on. Its all the little things.

There is arguing in my house , shouting , sometimes door slamming and always nagging but we also have a house full of love, its there in all the little things.

The Reading Residence