Im joining in with the theme game linky again this week, the theme for this week is learning.
I’ve never been a very confident person, I’ve always been the one standing away from the crowd, the one who never knows what to say, the one who would rather stay indoors than have to talk to actual real people. Somewhere along my 39 years what confidence I had vanished.
I had to learn though, become more confident because I had to fight for my boys, the sen system the CAMHS system they are hard work and you have to be prepared to fight to get anywhere, you have to make phone calls, go to meetings, make yourself heard, every small victory along the way helps you to believe in yourself and your confidence more and more .
I was still holding myself back though, For the last 21 years I’ve only worn jeans, with a tshirt or jumper , slightly baggy to hide the muffin top. I’d wake up in the morning chuck my jeans on put my hair in a bobble and repeat every day.
A couple of weeks ago my mum took me shopping, she said she was determined to buy me a dress, in the end we bought 5. Dresses I would never have even looked at.I’m never going to be a fashionista but I’m learning to put more thought into what will look nice . The first time I wore one I got lots of lovely compliments and so I began wearing them often, I wore two of them to britmums live, at the same time I also left my hair down for the first time in forever and I felt much more confident than I would have in an old pair of jeans.
I wore a dress to a meeting last week, left my hair down and again recieved lots of compliments, and felt much more confident than I usually would, every compliment makes you believe in yourself a little more. At first I was very conscious that wearing a dress shows your shape much more than hiding behind jeans and a tshirt but I’m learning to accept that while my body, especially my tummy will never be perfect , its perfectly fine .
I’m learning to fuss more about myself, you have to shave your legs, often if you’re wearing dresses, and a little bit of gradual tanning lotion is good. You need to actually bother to condition your hair and keep it brushed and tidy if you’re keeping it down.
My comfortable but battered old trainers are no good with dresses so I’m having to get used to pumps and flip flops, ( flip flops mean you have to keep your toes pretty and your nails painted) .
Now that I’m caring more about how I look I’m being more sensible about what I eat, no more chocolate, especially not in bed, I’m not dieting but I’m putting more thought into it , and I’m feeling better for it
I’m putting my phone down earlier and getting more sleep, getting up earlier to enjoy a quiet tea before the morning madness begins.
All of this is making me feel more confident, happier with who I am, I’m learning that I have to care for myself as much as I care for everybody else, I’m learning to do things with more confidence, more belief in myself.
Its amazing what a few small changes can do, after 39 years im learning to be comfortable and confident with who I am
I was even looking at dresses in asda today